I'm the Mom in That Viral Giants Clip. Let Me Tell You About My Husband

(themomoftheyear.substack.com)

139 points | by minimaxir 2 hours ago ago

42 comments

  • collingreen 41 minutes ago

    Very well written both in prose and tone. I'm glad she decided to tell this story. If the author isn't a professional writer I think she could be.

    This is a great "behind the scenes" style look at the actual people behind a viral clip. Luckily they have an extremely strong relationship to help soften the blows here, I'm not sure an average (not even bad!) relationship could come out of something like this unscathed.

    There's something feral in us that comes out from time to time, especially online from the safety of our screens. I found the announcers within the range of good fun but when it gets to people reaching out to break up their marriage or telling him to kill himself it becomes really sobering.

    I think this is part of what people are calling the lonlieness epidemic - despite thousands of screaming voices the whole thing makes me feel hollow and hopeless.

  • snovymgodym 35 minutes ago

    A really toxic part of online interactions is that it's very common for people to see a tiny snippet of another person's life and then project all of their own personal resentments onto them.

    • geerlingguy a few seconds ago

      Or speculation grows and a few hours later it's suddenly historical fact, like a modern version of telephone... just with a castle harmful outcome.

    • mahboi 4 minutes ago

      Seems like the story is more about the SF Giants sports commentators making jokes about this

    • everyone 10 minutes ago

      Is there any benefit to social media? Just seems like a new form of cancer we have to deal with now along with everything else.

      • readthenotes1 9 minutes ago

        Homemade Dog videos. Not sure of anything else

  • figassis an hour ago

    That this is something that has to be told to adults is the saddest part of humanity. No one has grown up.

    • biglyburrito an hour ago

      And she spells it out really well. But yeah.

  • minimaxir 2 hours ago

    Viral clip in question: https://www.tiktok.com/@espnatbat/video/7688719334973230366

    Article is about the impact of social media pile-ons (and has been getting praise within tech) so it is within scope for HN.

    • fhdkweig 40 minutes ago

      TikTok threw up a big "login" popup that I couldn't skip, so here is a youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUwQmrEFf7E

      • ksymph 34 minutes ago

        Normally the comments on that video are something I could laugh along with, but reading them after the article is... sobering.

    • Quothling 30 minutes ago

      I'm Danish, but how is this terrible? I should show these people a video of my twins sleeping in a snow covered trolley outside the bar I was having a beer and a board game by the window at.

      • throw93038383 10 minutes ago

        In Copenhagen I was strongly adviced not to leave my bicycle unlocked outside, for quick visit at a grocery store. Everyone I know takes their bikes home overnight.

      • Wistar 25 minutes ago

        When I first moved to Denmark, I marveled at the babies in unattended carriages parked outside the grocery stores.

      • pantulis 20 minutes ago

        The only terrible thing is the food they're having.

    • Rzor 42 minutes ago

      Those comments are pure vitriol juice, my god, and they just keep coming from all angles as to why that dude is an absolutely piece of shit on very little data. Incredible stuff, and a good lesson right there.

      • mahboi 18 minutes ago

        Probably from unmarried people anyway

  • didgetmaster 18 minutes ago

    Almost anyone can be seen as a hero or a zero if the right 15 second clip is captured. We love it when our best moments hit social media, but everyone also piles on when we are caught at our worst (or what appears to be bad, even if it not).

    It is amazing how many haters emerge like in this case, when there is so much more to the story.

  • Insanity 39 minutes ago

    You never know what others are going through, or what is happening in a relationship between two people, even when you think you’re close to them. So the online masses making these judgements based on a short clip is kinda insane although it doesn’t surprise me.

  • lukehandcool 39 minutes ago

    Everyone loves to hate right away when they see something like this. It's a good practice to try to make up a story that gives an alternate, less vilifying explanation to what you're seeing. This is a great response from Erika. Thanks for sharing.

    • throw93038383 6 minutes ago

      Not really, the same people will have endless empathy for cold blooded killer, who murdered her three children!

      It is just good old misandry!

  • dagorenouf 5 minutes ago

    It’s making me sad that this article needed to exist in the first place. Just leave people alone.

  • satvikpendem 34 minutes ago

    Quite a common thing to see online where strangers judge relationships off some small slice. You see it on reddit and relationship subs all the time.

    • expedition32 23 minutes ago

      The internet feels like one those shitty religious villages were everyone is gossiping.

  • Rzor 35 minutes ago

    David Foster Wallace's This is Water speech more relevant than ever.

  • abnry 29 minutes ago

    That man has found a treasure of a woman!

  • bad_haircut72 15 minutes ago

    Another side to the story is that I wonder how many of the reddit/tiktok posts pouring gasoline on the discourse were LLMs.

    • shermantanktop 5 minutes ago

      If only we truly knew how much divisive online content was generated from geopolitical adversaries…LLM or not.

  • criddell 37 minutes ago

    She’s a great writer.

    A lot of people owe this family an apology. Here’s a sampling of some of the vile comments left on Reddit.

    https://www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/1wpll52/clip_of_a_...

    • Tiberium 30 minutes ago

      If "she" refers to the LLM used by the author, sure. (The article is clearly mostly LLM-written/assisted)

      • grvdrm 10 minutes ago

        Amused by a claim about writing composition that uses “clearly mostly” back to back.

        • Planktonne a minute ago

          That's a legitimate usage of both words.

      • coherentpony 20 minutes ago

        I read it and didn’t get that impression.

        Perhaps you could endow your claim with some evidence.

      • Wistar 19 minutes ago

        Hmm. Pangram AI detection says the piece is “100% human written.”

      • godwinson__4-8 20 minutes ago

        Based on what?

      • mindslight 20 minutes ago

        Even if so, this would seem to be a positive use of LLMs. Something traumatic happened, and she wants to put her perspective into the public dialog rather than continuing to be a passive subject of the social media industry's two minute hate. I know in such a position I myself would be at a loss for words, with the perfect being the enemy of the good enough.

  • _3u10 28 minutes ago

    It’s great to see her setting a role model for others.

  • hliyan 34 minutes ago

    Another important story hiding in there:

    > Six weeks before my daughter was born, my employer of 13 years laid off my entire division. Ramses had just put up the down payment on a bigger home for our growing family. My unemployment meant he was facing the mortgage payments and managing a remodel on his own, while we prepared to welcome another child.

    • throw93038383 16 minutes ago

      That women could take over remodeling!

  • andrepd 17 minutes ago

    Algorithmic social media amplifies and promotes our basest, vilest impulses. Crowds were always worse than people, but now these "technologies" put that into turbo-overdrive, 5 billion people at a time, pushed and prodded by the engagement-maxxing machine. I don't see a bright future if we don't get a hand on this, and I don't see us getting a hand on this.

    • mahboi 11 minutes ago

      Hopefully AI slop kills it