How to Exist

(raptitude.com)

73 points | by walterbell 4 hours ago ago

28 comments

  • gregfjohnson an hour ago

    Been doing this for 20 minutes in the morning for a few decades now. It has had an impact. I am a rather “high gain” person emotionally. I now tend to notice emotions and observe them, which helps when they threaten to suck me into a self-perpetuating ruminative vortex. Also, it has made me gentler, and an easier person to be around. I’m now well aware that whatever disturbances occur, there will be echoes and resonances tomorrow morning during my sit! Now for a moment of honesty: this is a religious practice for me. A prayer that “landed” for me: “Lord, I ask to be a conduit of grace.”

  • augment_me 22 minutes ago

    In "Four thousand weeks" by Oliver Burkeman, he breaks down that this obsession with action stems to the industrial revolution when it was decided that workers should sell their time for a living.

    Before that we used to have task-oriented jobs, like milking the cows, which you cant do more than once in a while, or harvest the fields, which you can't do until it's ripe. In general humans are more evolved to this kind of work given our 200'000 years of task-based genetics versus 150 years of time controlling your action.

  • BugsJustFindMe 32 minutes ago

    > It’s oddly difficult to do nothing, and while you’re doing nothing, it’s oddly difficult to feel at ease.

    I don't have difficulty with this. Doing nothing, thinking about nothing, and simultaneously feeling perfectly at ease just comes naturally. I know that my experience is not universal and that many people do struggle with this. If you struggle with this and you were wondering, serenity really is very nice, and I wish I could share it, and I'm sorry that I can't.

  • tim-projects an hour ago

    1. Don't do anything 2. Be content

    The second rule conflicts with the first making this impossible.

    Any experienced meditator knows that to 'be content' isn't a passive action. You have to think to do it.

    If you truly practice no thought, there is no 'content' to be.

    • drdaeman 9 minutes ago

      The article allows for breathing and blinking, but has an odd constraint of “don’t move”, which AFAIK will make one fight their own neural system trying to autoregulate arousal. I’m not an expert but in my limited understanding, remaining completely still is not “not doing anything”, it’s very active inhibitory action.

      Real “doing nothing” is just leaving things be, just chilling out and observing whatever is happening without actively participating - and three minutes is a pretty low mark for that, unless we’re talking about fellas with ADHD.

    • dozerly an hour ago

      Maybe they mean something closer to “do nothing and try not to be miserable”

  • hackeman300 36 minutes ago

    I kept waiting for the punchline of the author turning out not to be a human after describing in detail what it thinks of the human experience. The text has all the hallmarks of AI writing at least

  • tbrownaw an hour ago

    I guess I could imagine this being tricky if you're stuck in a city apartment with no yard and no park nearby ...

    • kaycey2022 27 minutes ago

      The more you require to do this - walk to the park, a lawn, no noise - the less you will do it. In reality you could be locked in a prison and still do it.

    • mkagenius an hour ago

      You can close your eyes. Tricky if it's noisy - but then that's an issue in itself.

  • colordrops 8 minutes ago

    This is a common form of buddhist meditation in Tibetan (Dzogchen / Mahamudra) and Japanese (Soto Zen shikantaza) styles. Instructions are nearly identical. Interestingly, it's considered one of the most advanced techniques in the Tibetan repertoire.

  • nativeit 6 minutes ago

    I had a rather extreme form of this existence in my late-20’s, it was the first time I had ever really experienced such a thing (circa-2011). I’d never had any pathologies in the past, and this was shortly following an unexpected violent encounter. I spoke with a psychiatrist, and it was diagnosed at the time as post-traumatic stress disorder.

    I wonder if maybe there’s something of a swelling ocean full of people suffering from low-level PTSD, even just from the trauma of staying alive and well in a society that you feel increasingly untethered from, as if stuck in place while the universe expands farther in every direction. The arriving tide of midlife crises for a generation of Palahniuk’s “middle-children of history”, those who had the wherewithal and luck to avoid serious addictions and hereditary alcoholism, but who still can’t really afford to be sufficiently medicated under a doctor’s supervision, either. So we resort to the permanent morphine drip of distraction, mainlining dopamine via headphone IVs.

    The bottom half of a socioeconomic bell curve that’s being aggressively flattened, as if there were a pandemic of mediocrity and wasted potential. Stuck between a misspent youth, and an increasingly uncertain future.

    TLDR; I think this is a very good first step for a lot of like-minded somewhat damaged folks. I ultimately took a similar approach—mindful meditation with breathing exercises—to treat my own PTSD, it worked better than Xanax to tamp down the anxiety attacks.

    P.S. - Anyone who points out my em dashes can go sit on dem dashes. This comment was boutique, artisan, 100% organic bullshit. No memory prices were harmed in the making of this comment.

  • hackernud3s an hour ago

    I don't understand the hero image of hipsters sipping espresso in a cafe.

    Is that an example of how to exist? How not to exist? I can see an argument for either one lol.

  • ngvrnd an hour ago

    I know what the author means, but I don't share the experience.

  • gwintrob 38 minutes ago

    Great post. The author sounds like he loves life. Not a lot of BS to it.

  • annshress 2 hours ago

    Not really sure how to feel about this post. I guess I will try still..

  • applfanboysbgon 2 hours ago

    > When you stop doing everything and just exist, you almost feel like you’re dying.

    It sounds like the author drinks too much caffeine. This definitely isn't unusual in rat race culture, but it's also by no means the universal human experience.

  • sublinear 2 hours ago

    > This is a crazy thing to notice after having been alive so many years — that your existence itself is so much to bear. There’s always something wrong, even when everything’s fine. It’s as if you can only bear the present moment when you’re trying change it into something else.

    I am not a professional and I'm not trying to be dismissive here, but I'm pretty sure you're just describing general anxiety.

    Nobody truly has a hard time "doing nothing for 3 minutes" if they time it right. Morning and night tend to be when it's easiest for me, but others may differ. You should instead investigate what makes that time of day different from the rest of it. That's where the answers really are. You can and should adjust the flow of your day to make it happen naturally and unconsciously.

    > This is a form of meditation, but I almost want to avoid that word because it makes people get nervous and overcomplicate it. Just think of this practice as existing without fear, for a few seconds at a time. Minimum effective dose is one half-breath.

    This is already way too complicated. Nothing at this level of detail needs to be described. We already know what "nothing" is. Being too deliberate has a way of pushing the emotions elsewhere until they come back to bite you. The goal of trying to make this possible on-demand is unrealistic at best, or a self-help trap to keep people buying advice at worst.

    I found myself "meditating" all the time on accident when I took on less and gave myself more time to do things. When you need a break, you need a break. The most important part for me was letting go of trying to impose control over this. I very strongly disagree with the notion of deliberate meditation. It's not a matter of "doing it right". It's just bullshit. The state of mind and results are identical when you stop listening to anyone's advice and just let it happen.

    • onemoresoop an hour ago

      > I very strongly disagree with the notion of deliberate meditation. It's not a matter of "doing it right". It's just bullshit. The state of mind and results are identical when you stop listening to anyone's advice and just let it happen.

      You assume others have had your experience and learnings from it. That’s clearly not possible so how else would you put it for them? Maybe you should contribute your own experience. But don’t expect everybody will allign to it 100%.

  • jdw64 2 hours ago

    I'm just trying to Exit.

    • ryeguy_24 2 hours ago

      If you are stuck in vim, it's :q. If you are stuck in life, stay with us, we want you to stay.

      • rossant an hour ago

        I came here to say this. You beat me to it.

      • aakresearch 2 hours ago

        Who's "we"?

    • pizzathyme 2 hours ago

      Don't give up, friend. People care for you. If no one else, this person online does! I hope you are able to find help.

      • md224 2 hours ago

        it's possible that he was making a joke about exiting a startup

        but I appreciate your comment regardless

      • aakresearch 2 hours ago

        Today there is no guarantee that that sequence of characters, or the one it was produced in reply to, or, indeed, this very one you are reading right now did not come from a bot. There is a lot of "care" being performed and not much left to just exist.

      • hankbond 2 hours ago

        This is hacker news so there's a good chance they mean "have a successful acquisition of their business", in which case I hope they can Exit.