I partially amputated (at the joint closest to the nail) my index finger a decade ago, and it’s been a huge impediment. This has motivated me to seek out some other opinions.
Sent it to some doctor friends and they are floored by the writing style as well.
It's hard for me to rationalise that a few cms off the index could be a huge impediment, so can you please share where you find yourself impaired the most? I imagine gripping things, like a glass, should be more or less unaffected.
I believe every year The Canadian Medical Association Journal publishes a mostly-humorous edition around Christmas. And there's a long history of satire in NEJM, BMJ, The Lancet, etc
that... isn't... satire. It's written in a funny way because it was a "silly"[0] experiment, but it showed a real issue with fMRI.
> What we can conclude is that random noise in the EPI timeseries may yield spurious results if multiple testing is not controlled for. In a functional image volume of 60,000-130,000 voxels the probability of a false discovery is almost certain.
[0] silly as in "there's no way this fMRI will show the frozen salmon as alive, right?"
I think we run into the definition of satire and parody, here.
Satire is "the truth, in the most extreme way", so I think it definitely qualifies to very, very seriously examine a dead salmon with an fMRI to see if it has brain activity.
It's not a parody - they actually did the study, and the results were as described, not an imitation journal article ala The Onion.
People still surprise me, but given this part, it's hard for me to imagine that the author was not being satirical on purpose:
> Obviously, I do not like arrogant disabled index digits and believe they should be removed if they cannot be restored to a functional status. There is no in-between with index fingers.
> To me, index fingers portray a hideous personality reflecting conceit and pantywaist attitudes. In essence, they are smart-ass digits we can often do without. If I had to lose a finger and had my choice, I would choose first my nondominant hand index ray and next the other index. I find index digits easy to hate and sometimes hard to love.
If you read through carefully, the author is making a serious point: that in many cases of injury to the index finger, it is better functionally and cosmetically to remove it. He cites examples of patients with chronic pain or burning in the stump, and patients who have the remaining portion of the finger permanently extended, facilitating re-injury.
I'm no fingerologist but I do appreciate anyone who can make serious points in such a funny way.
I am so worried that we as a society have lost the ability to write well, and risk losing the ability to recognize and appreciate good writing. Rote professional written communication skills are changing and diminishing. The written word is generally seen to be a burden. Anyways, bittersweet thoughts from a really funny article.
This place really is good practice for all sorts of skills: expressive, physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual. And beyond learning about various zones of my beloved nerdtech, there are very subtle levels of sociology, anthropology, and psychology on display here, too.
But yeah, the decline is real, my friend. I declined to use IRC for all these years, and I'm afraid its descendant, texting, has not improved our society's level of anything beyond the most mundane trivial pursuits.
I guess if you lose all but one finger on a hand then, among other things, you will be unable to point at anything with it without flipping someone off.
I partially amputated (at the joint closest to the nail) my index finger a decade ago, and it’s been a huge impediment. This has motivated me to seek out some other opinions.
Sent it to some doctor friends and they are floored by the writing style as well.
It's hard for me to rationalise that a few cms off the index could be a huge impediment, so can you please share where you find yourself impaired the most? I imagine gripping things, like a glass, should be more or less unaffected.
I mean if the middle finger is that versatile and important it's great that we have less important fingers providing a buffer on both sides of it.
Ablative fingering, what an innovation.
All those cartoons had it right all along: four fingers per hand is more than enough!
Probably most experienced drumkit players don't generally use their index fingers either (except when playing the ride cymbal).
"When you make the patient your enthusiastic ally in reconstructive surgery, you can get him to fly with six or eight small feathers."
That is just brilliant. The article was an object lesson in clarity and humanity.
Quite a jarring and informative article. I had no clue how finicky muscles are and bad amputation may result net negative results to the patient.
That was unexpectedly hilarious, wow.
"Remember, you cannot make normal more normal because that is abnormal."
I will indeed remember that.
Is there much of this type of thing hiding on PubMed?
Not a source I had previously associated with top-tier humor.
I believe every year The Canadian Medical Association Journal publishes a mostly-humorous edition around Christmas. And there's a long history of satire in NEJM, BMJ, The Lancet, etc
I particularly enjoy this one (PDF):
http://cda.psych.uiuc.edu/multivariate_fall_2013/salmon_fmri...
that... isn't... satire. It's written in a funny way because it was a "silly"[0] experiment, but it showed a real issue with fMRI.
> What we can conclude is that random noise in the EPI timeseries may yield spurious results if multiple testing is not controlled for. In a functional image volume of 60,000-130,000 voxels the probability of a false discovery is almost certain.
[0] silly as in "there's no way this fMRI will show the frozen salmon as alive, right?"
I think we run into the definition of satire and parody, here.
Satire is "the truth, in the most extreme way", so I think it definitely qualifies to very, very seriously examine a dead salmon with an fMRI to see if it has brain activity.
It's not a parody - they actually did the study, and the results were as described, not an imitation journal article ala The Onion.
Thanks. I think I found another good one, though more technical than OP.
> The case of the disappearing teaspoons: longitudinal cohort study of the displacement of teaspoons in an Australian research institute
https://www.bmj.com/content/331/7531/1498
Whoever wrote this was creating satire and I don’t even know if they realize it.
People still surprise me, but given this part, it's hard for me to imagine that the author was not being satirical on purpose:
> Obviously, I do not like arrogant disabled index digits and believe they should be removed if they cannot be restored to a functional status. There is no in-between with index fingers.
> To me, index fingers portray a hideous personality reflecting conceit and pantywaist attitudes. In essence, they are smart-ass digits we can often do without. If I had to lose a finger and had my choice, I would choose first my nondominant hand index ray and next the other index. I find index digits easy to hate and sometimes hard to love.
Although, maybe the author's point was serious?
If you read through carefully, the author is making a serious point: that in many cases of injury to the index finger, it is better functionally and cosmetically to remove it. He cites examples of patients with chronic pain or burning in the stump, and patients who have the remaining portion of the finger permanently extended, facilitating re-injury.
I'm no fingerologist but I do appreciate anyone who can make serious points in such a funny way.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-our-team-over...
It’s really important, ok?
Worth the read.
I am so worried that we as a society have lost the ability to write well, and risk losing the ability to recognize and appreciate good writing. Rote professional written communication skills are changing and diminishing. The written word is generally seen to be a burden. Anyways, bittersweet thoughts from a really funny article.
Well this is from the 80s when writing was still quite respected and practiced
This place really is good practice for all sorts of skills: expressive, physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual. And beyond learning about various zones of my beloved nerdtech, there are very subtle levels of sociology, anthropology, and psychology on display here, too.
But yeah, the decline is real, my friend. I declined to use IRC for all these years, and I'm afraid its descendant, texting, has not improved our society's level of anything beyond the most mundane trivial pursuits.
I think this is a poor example of "society writing well". It reads like a medical journal. I personally hate it and couldn't get through it.
(1980)
Updated, thanks. But the hilarity is timeless.
I'm rather ambivalent about the index finger. The middle finger, however...
Look at it this way: if there was no index finger, you wouldn't have a middle finger either...
I guess if you lose all but one finger on a hand then, among other things, you will be unable to point at anything with it without flipping someone off.
> if there was no index finger, you wouldn't have a middle finger either
You would have two :-)
No, you'd actually have two middle fingers then: upper middle finger and lower middle finger. Just think of the possibilities!