Who Do Children Belong To?

(lyz.substack.com)

5 points | by herbertl 2 days ago ago

5 comments

  • N8works 2 hours ago

    This is interesting.

    In CA you can lose custody of your children simply by having an argument with your spouse and "disturbing their peace of mind"

    That is one of the legal definitions of "Domestic Violence"

    Once they have you for "Domestic Violence" you automatically lose the right to have custody of your kids.

  • zoezoezoezoe a day ago

    > The question of when a parent’s rights should take precedence over those of a child is a complicated one with no single correct answer. Oh, me me, I know the answer, never. Children, while, well, children, are still people just like the rest of us, they dont "belong" to anyone, they arent possessions to be behold and they owe you nothing. I strongly believe that the mass majority of people are unfit to have children and never should have children, I think reproducing in many peoples eyes is seen as a way to give purpose to their own life, but I believe without a doubt in my mind that you need purpose before reproducing, because if anything, having children without purpose in your life gives your child an unfulfilling life too. The bullshit power dynamic that many of people think should happen between children and adults is unbelievably stupid and should've never come to what it is.

    What the author describes in the beginning of the post, Reunification "therapy" is so stupid when you think about children as what they are instead of how they are treated, people, imagine the article started with "woman jailed because she objected to people being forced to live with alleged rapist" instead of "a mother is in jail for opposing court-ordered reunification therapy between her sons and their father". Children owe you nothing and dont 'belong' to you.

    • noahjk a day ago

      > And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.

      > And he said:

      > Your children are not your children.

      > They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

      > They come through you but not from you,

      > And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

      Kahlil Gibran, On Children

      https://poets.org/poem/children-1

  • meowster a day ago

    Reunification therapy sounds like it might be a First Amendment (U.S.A. Constitution) violation since you generally cannot compel actions or speech, especially thoughts.

    The author writes that, "many more Americans are being forced to have children. Legally, these laws serve to make having children a requirement, not a choice." That seems like a disingenuous oversimplification. Americans are not being forced to have children; they are just required not to abort children that are the consequences of actions they chose to take (sex), assuming they weren't raped (and thus had no choice).

    I do agree with the author that children seem to be generally treated as political pawns or by parents as extensions of themselves, rather than as individual people that need assistance learning and growing up.

  • EligibleDecoy a day ago

    “Why do adults demand respect from children when they don’t earn it?” - the author’s teen.

    This is the crux of the conflict current society has with children. Children are used as political pawns (but think of the children!) rather than being a focus of society. Even here on HN you see some posters assume a 12 year old can’t understand right or wrong (12 year olds absolutely know when to lie, thus implying they think they know when some things are wrong).

    If society respected children for who they are I think we could get a lot further. Thankfully it seems we are going that direction with the addition of more “free range” laws and general acceptance that children are people, with vastly more agency than society currently assumes they have.[1]

    1 - source: has kids